Sweet Jesus, The Sass!
are you really bisexual?
Prove it, complete this bisexual obstacle course
omg can I please?
that sounds fun
Like some kind of bisexual Wipeout
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
Oh God, this is so fucking true it’s embarrassing.
I would completely do total wipeout if I got some kind of bisexual crown at the end of it.
Worth if just for the Dan Savage bit!
Gordon Ramsay doesn’t care about your gender, race, or creed. All he cares about is that you can cook.
The contestant, Christine, is blind, and he lets her know exactly what he thinks of her dish.
OMG I was preparing myself to be enraged by him making some horrible comment but now I’m crying in Starbucks GOD DAMMIT
Christ I am not okay with these fEELINGS
That’s so cute I wanna cry
Is there a Gordon Ramsay fan base on this site??? And where can i join???
Spoilers, she won. Her cookbook is on sale now.
Also, this is the very first apple pie she ever made.
Also, can we please take notice OF HOW HE DESCRIBES IT FOR HER? Ramsay was extremely conscious during the entire season that she would require different tactics than the other contestants; this was not the only time he became her eyes, nor the only time he did things like that scrape of the knife so she could actually have a sense of her work.
And if you really want to bawl like a baby? During final four or final three, I forget which, the remaining contestants got photos from home. Christine’s husband sent their wedding photo—which she had never seen. Ramsay paused before starting the challenge to describe to her not only her husband—the look of love and joy on his face—but also herself as a bride, so she could see in her mind how the two of them looked together on their wedding day.
It was extremely obvious nobody had ever thought to do that before.
This man should be a fucking icon not just for his cooking, but for how he treats those who are different. During the same season he asked a handsome young man, making conversation during auditions, if he had a girlfriend. The man responded that he was gay. Ramsay, without missing a beat: “I’m sorry. Have you got a boyfriend, then?” No drama, no “oh my GOSH! You’re GAY? TOKEN CHARACTER :DDDD” just a very quick, simple whoops-my-mistake and the corrected inquiry. And then he never brought it up again! It was just a thing he learned, getting to know a contestant.
Yes, he can be harsh on MasterChef and downright cruel on Hell’s Kitchen (although if you were a sous chef and you served me raw pork that was not pork tartare, I’d scream too). But he’s not an ogre; he’s a polite man with a gigantic heart who simply happens to take no shit from those who should know better.
my girl watches gordon cooking show on youtube where he cooks with his family and its really endearing to watch tbh
If your ‘Dom’ (or prospective ‘Dom’) gets mad, upset, angry, tweaked, or otherwise gets his frilly panties in a wad because you seek clarification and/or guidance regarding something you don’t understand, PLEASE… cut that motherfucker loose.
That is all.
If your ‘Domme’ (or prospective ‘Domme’) gets mad, upset, angry, tweaked, or otherwise gets her frilly panties in a wad because you seek clarification and/or guidance regarding something you don’t understand, PLEASE… cut that bitch loose.
That is all.
So I started a Facebook group with my boyfriend last month initially called “Bisexuals and heterosexual partners,” designed for anyone under the bi umbrella and their different gendered partners to develop a network. I put it under Chatham House Rule and ‘pressed go’ and it went well, we got a large pickup very quickly and the group grew and continues to do so.
And then I changed the name; I was iffy in the first place,it didn’t encompass what I wanted to encompass; I wanted a group for mixed couples with non binary sexualities for two very specific reasons :
1) That heterosexual partners of bisexuals have approximately zero support available to them with regards totheir relationship and very unique issues whereas all other kinds ofrelationships, including other bi/mono ones, are catered for somewhere onlineto some degree as I searched through them all before creating the group.
2) The inherent bi-erasure that comes with these kinds of relationships from those who are either unknowingly ignorant or do not wish to fully understandthe issues surrounding these relationships. The group is designed to serve asan escape/support network on that issue.
But like most things worth doing in life the name change didn’t go smoothly and sparked a discussion on language and inclusiveness, so I set up a poll and started a thread to discuss it.
Which is how I come to be writing this: I realised what it was I wanted out of the group, and why I started it in the first place. I wanted somewhere to belong, somewhere no one was going to scream straight privilege at me or attack my boyfriend’s masculinity because he’s with me. Lord knows I looked for something anywhere resembling it before I set it up.
Then we got into a discussion on why I was dead set on this being a mixed relationship group after this particular comment appeared on the thread from someone who I’m not going to name at this time as they haven’t given me permission to do so.
“I had been thinking that it may be even more inclusive to acknowledge all relationships that involve a bisexual and a monosexual, so that it would involve same sex partnersas well as opposite sex partners.”
My response to that entailed the two points given above and the following further explanation:
“The reason I didn’t include same-sex relationships are because I think the issues are separate enough to warrant that separation of groups with regard to same-sex and mixed couples.”
Even when I typed it I knew I was going for the cop-out and not being brutally honest about why I didn’t want LG people in the group. The truth is I get more biphobia from them than any other group and I didn’t want it to happen in the safe space I had managed to create.
For a while we swapped statistics and anecdotes in the thread and basically we were all agreeing that we needed a group like this specifically to tackle the issues of erasure we faced as bisexuals in apparent heterosexual relationships.
And then this bombshell dropped courtesy of Harrie Farrow. “I think what often happens is that very often bisexual who gets into a committed same-sex relationship are so pressured to ID as gay/les that they often do id that way, despite what they really feel, so when asking “bisexuals” about their relationships, these people who no longer ID as bi, are not counted.” I realised I wasn’t the only one trying desperately to justify excluding LG individuals out of fear of erasure. Not necessarily because of what Harrie said because her comment was in the context of talking about how bisexuals are under pressure to swap labels to ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ when in relationships. It was more that the whole conversation had that feel to it to me.
Followed by this, which broke my heart, from another group member:
“Yes and I remember in 2000 I attended the gay pride parade (with girlfriend) and the bi people marching in the parade were booed.I was personally mortified. But now I wonder how man privately identified bi people who are now “gay” took it personally as well. I think thereality of biphobia in GL hurts this invisible population in ways we do noteven know.” (Emphasis is mine) and I realised that I was doing the right thing and I needed to open up.
And boy did I! (Names have been altered and a few things removed to protect my privacy)
This is why I want to make it clear that this is a group for mixed gender couples, because the problem is that once we get into heterosexual seeming relationships everyone presumes straight privilege and leaves us be, but where’s the support for our partners; the dedicated counsellors who aren’t going to pressure them to leave us when they’re at their most insecure? Where is our support knowing that we’re putting people we love through this and there’s nothing we can do about it? What about those of us who have children and no one to turn to for advice on how to cope with the unique issues our sexuality brings up with that? Where are the pamphlets telling us it’s OK to be bisexual, the sexual health resources; Obama used the word Gay more than 400 times last year in public speeches: but that about bisexuals? People who are transgender? From where I’m standing there’s some clear correlation between being under the trans umbrella in some way and being with someone who is bisexual, but who’s there to tell our partners that we’re not transphobic just because we don’t call ourselves pansexual, who’s there to tell our partners that if we do call ourselves pansexual what that really means and what the issues with that are?
All we seem to have is each other. That is why I wanted to keep this to mixed couples; because most of that presumption that we have straight privilege comes from LG sources who have abandoned us as if we’re some kind of traitors for falling in love.Then the rest of the heterosexual world just disparages and treats us like hell and our partners have to put up with that as well. Stonewall abandoned us, PFLAG I don’t think ever cared about us, LGF we’re just a tack on for, pinknews is the most GGGG news source out there and the only programmes that include bisexuals fully are the ones we made ourselves, that’s what works for us so I figured if no one else was doing it I had to.
I’m sick of watching my friends get turned down once they get outed by heterosexuals andgays/lesbians alike, I’m sick of my own mother telling everyone I have a boyfriend but when I was had a girlfriend I wasn’t allowed to be seen so much as holding hands with her in public, it breaks my heart that it took me bringing a man home for me to be able to reconnect with my dad and for my mum toopen up to me again. Sick of telling people that I am neither straight norpansexual and no I’m not a cheat or a slut, sick of having to fight off guys thinking they’re entitled to try it on with me when I’m out- you know I haven’tbeen on a night out that wasn’t with my parents since Halloween? Even then [over the Christmas holidays] my mum or dad stepped in a few times for mewhen creepy guys wouldn’t leave me alone! But that has nothing to do with being bi except of course for that fact that being bi is what almost made me another rape statistic and traumatised me the last time I went out alone so I daren’t anymore and when I am out I can’t relax unless I’m plastered which I daren’t do or with people i trust, which is basically my parents or boyfriend (and my parents are getting on in years so if they’re drinking I don’t feel 100% safe either just because they can’t hold their drink anymore and I need to be able to take care of them when we’re out). I’m sick of my cousin introducing me as her bisexual cousin without asking. Old friends who spurned me when I was with a woman coming out of the woodwork now and there’s no one I can turn to to deal with all this.
I don’t want to put this on my boyfriend’s shoulders, he’s got enough on his plate and being so far away there’s not much he can do anyway [We are an LDR]. And what about the support for him? He’s going to read this and I already know how that’s going to go down- whose he got to turn to? No one! When he starts worrying that I’m withholding information because I don’t want to burden him, when he starts feeling guilty that I am, when he looks at me tells me he’s scared that one day I’m not going to be satisfied with just him he’s got no one to turn to and I can only say and do so much to help. This group is all we have. We’re all going through it; we all have unique shared experiences. That’s what I want to tap into, create a community, a safe space for everyone here sowe can really talk and share information.
I don’t think the name is that important, what’s important is the spirit of the group; if someone wants to post a five page rant they can, if someone wants advice they can start a thread, if someone just wants to discuss the latest celebrity scandal or twist in their favourite soap opera they can, if my [boyfriend] and [another member] want to fanboy about Dresden [Files], there’s a thread for that, and it’s easy enough to start one for any of us in any fandom. [Someone else] posts pictures of his children on his timeline, [a different one] again has kids and he’s got a lot going on, i don’t know who else has kids but they can set up a thread related to parenting if they want even if it’s just to swap cute stories and pictures and dote on the little ones or moan about the teenagers or whatever. Anything, everything, this is our lives and we need that network in place and if we’re going to have a name then it needs to encompass that.
PS. Sorry about that it turned into a rant but once i started typing i couldn’t stop, it’s actually quite cathartic to see it all written down and *bonus* i think i made the point i was aiming for somewhere in all that.
And then the member who talked about being booed at Pride added this:
“I get it. One thing is I am somewhat amix of masculine and femme I come off as pretty queer so inevitably people doask me and when I come out and have a straight woman as a partner she inevitably experiences stigma. I just figured I would stop dating most straight women. There are multiple needs bisexual people have. I left my small home town and ran to a big city because of homophobia/biphobia. Recently I had to grieve while with [name removed] the things that happened to me when I was 17 - 21. This experience of having to leave the place you are from because of your sexual orientation only LGBTpeople experience. And it took me 23 years to break down and grieve. This heterosexual privilege shit is a dismissal of our actual needs.”
I swear that one is trying to completely destroy me emotionally! (Joke!)
But he makes a good point, his wife experiences stigma because of his nature and there is NOWHERE for her to go for support or help because if there was the group wouldn’t exist, because I wouldn’t have thought to create it because I would have found help for myboyfriend when he had one of his days where nothing I said could convince him that I’m not going to run off with a woman and leave him at some point and I would have gotten some advice as well.
Once again networking has proven to be key, Harrie Farrow, has started working on a new project she’s called Navigating The BiWays, and in her words “I will be dedicated to working only with Bisexuals and those who love them, helping navigate life issues regarding Bisexuality.” http://harriefarrow.wordpress.com/
I don’t know what the name is going to change to and I don’t think in the grand scheme of things it really matters, like I said, it’s the spirit of it that’s important. What I’ve realised though is that this just goes to show that the darndest things, seemingly insignificant things, like setting up Facebook groups and posting links and sharing stories, they are what make us and in the end if we didn’t have them that would be what would break us. The best bit though, is that something’s happening, we’re fighting back, we’re fixing what’s broken, building a community, networking and supporting each other and whatever name we do that under, well, ‘a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.’
If you’re interested in our group please click below to join:
It’s amazing to me how many “ear to the ground” folks I know have spent so ugh time posting about Beyoncé but still aren’t spreading awareness about #kendrickjohnson . This 17 year old #blackboy was killed on school grounds in #Valdosta Georgia and everyone from the school to the cops to the coroner to the funeral home to the media is complicit in the #coverup . #CNN has been the only news outlet that has followed the story and tried to get the family some answers. HELLO PEOPLE this #blackbody is symbolic of how we as #blackpeople are still seen. THEY FILLED HIS BODY WITH NEWSPAPER! Look at his face! They tried to say he only suffocated?! How when he looks like #emmettill ?! If you can post about how wonderful Beyoncé is or anything else THEN SURELY you can share this story and spread awareness. The coverup is only working because people aren’t informed. The more people know, the more pressure can be put on the town. The US Attorney and FBI are involved but it’s not enough. Where are his rallies? His songs? His poems? Why is his image not being shared across the country? Across the world? Where is the #outrage
Oh my God. Bless his soul
here’s some horrifying facts:
- his body, when recovered, had all organs removed so a second autopsy couldn’t determine cause of death
- he was found rolled up in a gym mat between benches
- camera footage has been tampered with, so there is no recording of the gym or the entrances to tell who entered (but suspiciously were active just long enough to show the victim entering)
- school has been late with all requested information
this is not fucking okay
I just supported Sexpression supports WAD on @ThunderclapIt // @Sexpression